A dangerous sexual practice is on the rise
Sexual strangulation – often referred to as ‘choking’ – has found its way into the sexual expectations and experiences of a generation of young people.
New ground-breaking research¹ with over 4,700 Australians aged 18-35 has revealed the alarming rates at which young Australians are engaging in sexual strangulation:
57%
reported being strangled by a partner during sex
51%
said they had strangled their partner during sex
Sexual strangulation is a significantly gendered practice:
78%
of transgender and non-binary people
reported being strangled during sex
61%
of women reported ever being strangled during sex
43%
of men reported ever being strangled during sex
These findings from Australia are broadly consistent with those of a large US study² of university students which revealed that:
64%
of women have been choked during sex
29%
of men have been choked during sex
55%
of transgender or non-binary people
have been choked during sex
Sexual strangulation is usually enacted by men, regardless of the gender of their partner.³
49%
of men have choked a partner during sex
25%
of men choked their partner last time they had sex
In recent years, sexual strangulation has also emerged as a key theme in our interviews with young people. They tell us it’s common, it’s gendered, it often occurs with no communication or consent, and it can feel really scary and unsafe.
“There's definitely violent practices like choking and slapping which are almost seen as vanilla now, especially choking. Choking is very mainstream.”
“A lot of my friends have told me about times they’ve been choked and I've only heard that from women. None of my guy friends have ever had experiences of being choked without permission.”
“Choking is so normalised that there isn't really any kind of measures put in place to seek consent.”
“In my experience, as the receiver of choking you just kind of have to expect that they'll stop at the right time so you don't actually lose consciousness. I've never felt scared at the beginning of being choked and I don't know why - I probably should. But as it goes on you know the longer you're not breathing for the more sort of panicked you get and the less you know mobility you have.”
“We’ve accepted that in sexual encounters it’ll probably happen. They won’t ask first.”
“He thought I would like it. But there wasn't that discussion that I'd like that or anything. He just did it.”
"Because that's what they're seeing in porn, [they think] 'Okay, I see rough positions, she must like that. I see choking, she must like that.'”
“I've been in situations where I feel like I'm genuinely being murdered.”
Many young people we have spoken with assume that strangulation will be pleasurable and safe – perhaps because it looks that way in porn or they know people who have done it and claim it is safe.
But strangulation experts advise that there is no safe way to strangle – and the consequences are not just at the point of strangulation, but may occur in the minutes, hours, days, weeks and months that follow.
We can’t allow this shift in cultural norms to continue unchallenged. Young people need to hear that sexual strangulation is not something you can do safely.
It's time we talked is working to develop a global campaign about sexual strangulation. The Breathless campaign will seek to prevent the harms of sexual strangulation by:
raising awareness about its prevalence and risks
supporting critical thinking about the influences – such as porn, social media, partners and peers – that shape sexual norms
making it easier to access information from more reputable and trustworthy sources
encouraging informed conversations about strangulation – and about safety, respect, equality, mutual pleasure, and consent.
The Breathless campaign is still in development, but there are opportunities to get involved – including that we are looking for people who would like to share their experiences of sexual strangulation. If you would like to lend your voice, please submit your story or subscribe if you’d like to be updated as the campaign progresses.
It's time we talked is seeking support to continue the development of the Breathless campaign. If you're interested in funding the campaign please get in touch with us via admin@itstimewetalked.com.